1 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:33,080 Right. 2 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:34,440 Pencil Museum, here we come. 3 00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:36,640 You know, it's home to the world's largest... 4 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:38,000 ...colouring pencil, yeah. 5 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:40,160 - Yeah, which is over... - ...30 foot long. 6 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:44,720 (ARGUING) 7 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:48,240 FIONA: Oh, Steph and Bill from number eight are at it again. 8 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:51,600 Well, come on. It's nearly twice the height of a giraffe. 9 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:53,000 Doesn't that depend on the giraffe? 10 00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:54,960 And what use is it to anyone anyway? 11 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:58,240 I mean, you'd need the world's biggest sharpener before you get started. 12 00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:00,480 You don't actually use it, you just admire it. 13 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:02,680 It's the biggest of its kind. That's the point. 14 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:05,720 I don't care how big it is, Little Neil's got to do his homework 15 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:07,400 before anyone's going anywhere. 16 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:08,800 What homework? 17 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:10,920 DT. It's for Mr Appleton. 18 00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:12,280 How long's that going to take? 19 00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:15,280 I've got to pick a building of world significance and then research it. 20 00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:17,920 Half an hour. Pencil Museum, here we come. 21 00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:20,960 And then I've got to build a scale model. 22 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,480 - What?! - (SIGHS) 23 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:24,640 They're all going up in the school foyer. 24 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,320 Oh, well, let's just make the real thing and have done with it, eh? 25 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:30,600 I'm sure we could knock up the Sydney Opera House before lunchtime. 26 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,240 These teachers don't care whose weekends they ruin, do they? 27 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:35,600 Well, this one's nearly done with. 28 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:39,000 Sure Mr Appleton's not knocking up a Taj Mahal from empty Mateys boxes. 29 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:41,440 Come Monday, I'm calling school. 30 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:43,520 They can't set this kind of homework on a Friday 31 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:45,320 and expect it'll be done in two days flat. 32 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:46,640 Hold on a minute. 33 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:47,720 When was it set? 34 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:50,720 - Four weeks ago. - (GARTH LAUGHS) 35 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:52,120 Oh, you've got... 36 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:53,360 Four weeks?! 37 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:54,480 I forgot. 38 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:55,600 Oh, yeah. 39 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:56,640 You forgot? 40 00:01:57,680 --> 00:01:59,840 What if I forgot to replenish the pick and mix, eh? 41 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:03,360 Or put out the camping chair promotion? But I didn't, did I? 42 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:07,440 No, I did everything I was supposed to so we could all come here and relax, 43 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:11,320 enjoy the sun, the water, the clear mountain air. 44 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:13,320 And to see the biggest pencil in the world. 45 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:15,400 Colouring pencil! 46 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:18,280 If you don't mind, it's a colouring pencil. 47 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:29,040 Nobody loves that place more than I do. 48 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,480 I want my ashes blowing round it one day. 49 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,840 But it's not a building of world significance. 50 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:35,000 Well, it is to me. 51 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:38,080 Well, think of all the disaster movies. 52 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:41,320 It's the Golden Gate Bridge that always gets destroyed by a tidal wave. 53 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:43,920 It's Big Ben that gets blown up by the aliens. 54 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:46,840 Not Stoke City Football Ground. Thank God. 55 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:49,800 Right, well, what about the Taj Mahal, or the Sydney Opera House? 56 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:51,800 Have you seen the Sydney Opera House? 57 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:53,560 These are scissors, not a wand. 58 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,520 Yeah, it might be a bit ambitious, Little Neil. 59 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:57,360 I've got it. 60 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:02,040 Oh...I am good. 61 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,840 Stonehenge! 62 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:08,560 Come on, three more of them and we're done. 63 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:10,680 Get your coats on, we're going Pencil Museum. 64 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:13,280 Stonehenge isn't going to cut it for Mr Appleton. 65 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:16,080 He'll want something bigger and better. 66 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:18,720 (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS) 67 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,720 The Empire State Building. 68 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:23,400 Come on, what's bigger and better than that? 69 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:26,760 The Burj Khalifa, the Shanghai Tower, Abraj Al-Bait clock tower, 70 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:28,240 the Ping An Finance Centre. 71 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:31,160 Well, where did all these pop up from? Nobody told me. 72 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:34,720 Ping An Finance Centre did call, but you were out. 73 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:38,240 Everybody knows the Empire State Building was the biggest and best 74 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:39,920 - for donkey's years. - Mm. 75 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:43,000 All we have to do is stick a few boxes on top of each other, 76 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:45,160 put a dart through the top, sorted. 77 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:47,400 They'll be queueing up in that school foyer. 78 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:56,600 But without those revision notes, I'm going to fail the test. 79 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,360 Well, Dolores gave them to the courier last night. 80 00:03:58,400 --> 00:03:59,880 Dolores doesn't speak English! 81 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:03,160 Darling, they will be here, all right? 82 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:04,560 - (KNOCKING) - Finally! 83 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:08,040 Hmm. They'll be here. 84 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,080 - Hello. - Saw your car. 85 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:15,400 - Ah. - Just thought I'd pop in to say hello. 86 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,600 - Right. - Good journey? 87 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:19,440 Yes, excellent. Thank you very much. 88 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:21,720 - Is that the shower I can hear? - No. 89 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:23,720 - Oh. - Has a courier left anything with you? 90 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:27,000 There was a parcel for Mr Fieldhouse on Wednesday - 91 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:29,080 a pair of maroon women's slippers? 92 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:31,200 - You opened it? - (SCOFFS) No. 93 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:34,640 I just guessed by judging the shape and size of the parcel. 94 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:36,280 Then how did you know they were maroon? 95 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:39,680 Where's Mrs Dillon? 96 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:41,400 She's in Ibiza with her friends. 97 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:42,880 Why? 98 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:44,560 She's got friends here. 99 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:47,400 Yes, I know she does. I'll tell her you said hello. 100 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:48,720 She's definitely not coming? 101 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:50,240 She's definitely not coming. 102 00:04:50,280 --> 00:04:51,440 I'm so sorry. 103 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:52,480 (KICKS DOORFRAME) 104 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:53,720 Is there anything else? 105 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,360 - No. - OK. 106 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:56,960 Oh! Dolores! 107 00:04:58,360 --> 00:04:59,720 Oh, boy. 108 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:03,280 Where should we start? 109 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:04,480 The top? 110 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:06,360 I doubt they did that in real life. 111 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,760 - They had more than two days to build it. - It took them 112 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:10,800 one year and 45 days, 113 00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:12,440 or seven million man hours. 114 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,080 Shall we have a cup of tea? 115 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:16,040 You've not even broken ground! 116 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,320 Yeah, but you can't dive headlong into these things. 117 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:19,680 Need a lot of consideration. 118 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:24,840 103 storeys, 73 lifts and 6,514 windows. 119 00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:26,480 You'd need a hell of a bucket. 120 00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:29,040 We're out of teabags. 121 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:31,800 Be back as soon as I can. 122 00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:33,800 Neil! No! Neil! 123 00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:35,080 (DOOR CLOSES) 124 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:37,000 Get back in here! 125 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:38,400 NEIL: Ten minutes, max. 126 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:39,960 Oh, you've got to be... 127 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:53,680 - Neil... - (MUFFLED) Oh, no. 128 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,680 I thought I saw you from across the road. 129 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:57,720 - Yeah, I can't stop. - No, no... 130 00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:00,840 You will not believe what I found out last night. 131 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:05,240 Did you know that the United States' Sixth Fleet 132 00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:09,600 was protected by a team of crack...military... 133 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:11,880 ...dolphins? 134 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:19,240 What, a Special Forces unit, like the Navy Seals? 135 00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:21,240 No! 136 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:23,280 Bottlenose dolphins. 137 00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:25,840 They're trained at a secret base in the Florida Keys. 138 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:27,480 The Russians are at it too. 139 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:31,400 They've got a compound at the Black Sea, near Odessa. 140 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:34,360 I mean, we had a unit at Weston-super-Mare, 141 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:37,120 but due to defence cuts... Oh, another cream tea over here, please. 142 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,520 That would be really lovely, thanks very much indeed. 143 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:40,600 No, she's not staying. 144 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,040 We train them from birth, Neil. From birth. 145 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:44,120 They're killers! 146 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:55,120 (SIGHS) So is the entrance on 33rd or 34th Street? 147 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:56,320 Both. 148 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:59,800 The main entrance is on Fifth Avenue, but there's five altogether. 149 00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:02,640 (KNOCKING) 150 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,440 No, you stay where you are. I'll get it. 151 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:06,480 Get what? 152 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:10,720 Oi, that is the worst thing I've ever seen in my entire life. 153 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:13,520 ROBERT: Oh, thank you very much. I'm so sorry to disturb you. 154 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:15,480 I was wondering, do you have an iPhone charger I could borrow? 155 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,120 It's the 21st-century cup of sugar. 156 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:18,880 Think there might be one in the kitchen drawer. 157 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:20,080 Great, splendid. 158 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:22,360 Sorry, I normally rely on Penny for this sort of thing, 159 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,160 but she's away in Ibiza at the moment. 160 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:26,120 Yes, her best friend's just got divorced. 161 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:27,200 Oh, that's a shame. 162 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,000 Yeah, well, Sasha doesn't seem to think so. 163 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:30,720 She's hired Whigfield for her beach party. 164 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:34,600 You know this is the fourth divorce bash Penny's been to this year? 165 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:37,080 When my sister got divorced, we went to the Weathervane. 166 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:40,040 She spent the whole evening crying into her snakebite. 167 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:42,320 Right. 168 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,760 Ah! One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. Now that is an excellent book. 169 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,000 Ha! We used to call our school matron Nurse Ratched. 170 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:50,280 God, she had cold hands. 171 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:52,560 When I'm on duty, I warm mine on the radiator. 172 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:54,760 - Oh, that's nice. - Not that I'm going to ask you to cough. 173 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:57,680 (LAUGHS BREATHLESSLY) 174 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:00,880 (COUGHS) 175 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:03,520 Oh, yes, brilliant. Thank you so much. Yes. 176 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:04,720 It was my own silly fault. 177 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:06,640 I should have asked Dolores to give one to the courier, 178 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:08,000 along with Petra's revision notes. 179 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:10,440 - Oh, Dolores? - Yes, our cleaner. 180 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:13,680 Petra's got a biology test - she left her notes behind. 181 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:14,960 So we've had them sent up. 182 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:19,040 But there doesn't seem to be any sign of the courier, which is odd. 183 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:21,880 Oh! Well, what have we here? 184 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:24,920 Er...the Empire State. 185 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:26,360 Ah-ha-ha! Splendid! 186 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:29,040 God, you can almost smell the hot dogs. 187 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:30,800 - (SCOFFS) - Hey! 188 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:58,440 - (DANCE MUSIC) - WOMAN'S VOICE: Two, three, four, dance! 189 00:08:58,480 --> 00:08:59,760 Mr Thistlethwaite! 190 00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:05,520 One, two, three, four, dance! 191 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:09,520 Mr Thistlethwaite! 192 00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:11,720 I need to get into number eight! 193 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:14,320 Mr Thistlethwaite! 194 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:20,680 Stop! 195 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:21,880 MALE VOICE: Good dance! 196 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:46,680 (HEAVY THUD) 197 00:09:58,760 --> 00:09:59,840 (CAR DOOR CLOSES) 198 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:03,040 BILL: Noticed you never get these migraines when we're going to the beach. 199 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:06,200 STEPH: You know high altitudes don't agree with me! 200 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:07,680 BILL: We were still in the car park! 201 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:09,120 STEPH: You do this on purpose, don't you? 202 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:11,400 BILL: Oh, yes, every time. 203 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:13,160 STEPH: Well, it's thumping now. 204 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,280 I'm going to sleep it off! 205 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:35,720 Where have you been?! 206 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,040 The shop was shut. 207 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,400 I had to go in the village. There was a terrible traffic jam. 208 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:40,680 You got most of it round your mouth. 209 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:42,800 Oh... 210 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:46,160 Well, I bumped into Lorraine Sykes. Got strong-armed into a cream tea. 211 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:49,880 Cream tea?! While we've been slaving away on the Chrysler Building?! 212 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:52,840 Oh, so if I touched that seat, it won't be warm? 213 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:54,280 Chrysler Building? 214 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,960 ROBERT: And then, that's it. Just like that. 215 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,120 Oh, hello! 216 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,440 Dad, come look at this. 217 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,760 We're making it out of foamcore. 218 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:08,440 We've got T pieces and a glue gun and a rebate cutter. 219 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:09,800 Robert's got everything. 220 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,760 Well, model-making's all part of the architect's job, 221 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,040 so I always keep a few pieces in the back of the car. 222 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:18,080 I-I hope you don't mind me giving him a few pointers. 223 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:19,760 Thought we were doing Empire State. 224 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:22,640 I got a new roll of Sellotape and everything. 225 00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:24,240 Sellotape? 226 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:27,600 Robert says the Chrysler building makes the Empire State looks like a bus shelter. 227 00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:32,120 (LAUGHS) Well, I didn't quite put it quite like that. No. 228 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:35,400 And when I say bus shelter, I mean there are some very attractive stations. 229 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:39,160 The, er... The Busbahnhof Poppenbüttel in Hamburg, for instance, 230 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:41,080 is a wonderful example of, er... 231 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:43,760 King Kong wasn't hanging off the Chrysler building. 232 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:45,120 I think we'll do the Empire State. 233 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:49,200 No, well, the Empire State is impressive. But the Chrysler building... 234 00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:52,240 Well, it's the true masterpiece of the Art Deco age. 235 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:56,160 With this magnificent shimmering apex, complete with sunburst motif 236 00:11:56,200 --> 00:12:00,280 and those polished eagles soaring high above Manhattan. 237 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:01,360 Which one's biggest? 238 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:04,040 Yeah, the Empire State is-is bigger. 239 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:05,520 Well, I think we'll stick to plan, then. 240 00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:07,520 Why don't you do both? 241 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,000 That will impress Mr Appleton. 242 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:10,560 Now that's a great idea. 243 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:14,440 We could create something of a skyline. I've got plenty more foamcore in the car. 244 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:16,680 Unless, of course, you prefer to use poster board. 245 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:19,520 Well, cereal boxes have always been good enough for me, thank you. 246 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:24,480 I will be swatting biplanes by tea-time. 247 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:29,480 (SNORES GENTLY) 248 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,000 (PHONE BUZZES) 249 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:47,400 (PHONE BUZZES) 250 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:55,040 (PHONE BUZZES) 251 00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:59,840 BILL: Loud was the voice of the lonely goatherd 252 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,120 Lay-ee odle-lay-ee odle-oo. 253 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:10,400 Hello, Petra. 254 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:13,120 You've got to come quick, there's a bat in our house. 255 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,200 A bat? In the middle of the afternoon? 256 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:17,360 No, no, it's a cat. It's a cat in our house 257 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:20,280 and I need you and Steph to come and help me catch it. 258 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:23,720 Sorry, Steph's not feeling very well. She's got a migraine. 259 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:25,920 Is your dad not around? 260 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,440 No, she went out this morning. 261 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:30,400 Please. Please, I need you to come and help me. 262 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,760 I need both of you to come and help me. 263 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,360 What, three of us to catch a cat? 264 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,360 What is it, a Bengal tiger? (LAUGHS) 265 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:42,280 I tell you what - you leave your front door open, 266 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,200 he'll soon wander out. 267 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,440 But... 268 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:56,840 - FIONA: Oh, wow. - ROBERT: Brilliant. 269 00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:58,800 - LITTLE NEIL: It's amazing. - ROBERT: Yeah. 270 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:00,080 So you do this for a job? 271 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,080 Yeah. Well, when designing any building, 272 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:05,000 you have to make a very detailed architectural model. 273 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:07,600 This building, of course, was designed by Van Alen. 274 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:09,240 What, the band? 275 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:10,840 No, the architect. 276 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:11,880 William Van Alen. 277 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:14,840 - (SELLOTAPE RIPS) - Wasn't there before. 278 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:15,880 So where was it? 279 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:17,720 Well, I don't know. Hiding. 280 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:19,840 Maybe it went into the village for a cream tea. 281 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,920 Should be me in the school foyer, not him. 282 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,880 Here. 283 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:27,960 Where you going now? 284 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,360 To the toilet. 285 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:31,560 Ugh... 286 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:34,400 Now...the apex. 287 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:40,200 ROBERT: So we need this...and this, 288 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:43,280 and then we'll start cutting those pieces there. 289 00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:45,240 (TINNY MUSIC PLAYS) 290 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:57,320 Hi, I'm Robert Dillon. 291 00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:01,400 Last time, we looked at how to turn your vision into a drawing. 292 00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:02,920 Today, we're going to take... 293 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:04,840 (GASPING) Oh, my God! 294 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,360 Today, we're going to take that drawing... 295 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:10,400 Ah! 296 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:14,480 (WHISPERING) Thank you! 297 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:38,680 (QUIETLY) Garth! 298 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:45,160 BILL: High on a hill was a lonely goatherd 299 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,400 Lay-ee odle-lay-ee odle-lay-ee-hoo... 300 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:48,440 (DOOR OPENS) 301 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,000 Loud was the voice of the lonely goatherd 302 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,600 Lay-ee odle-lay-ee odle-oo. 303 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:53,040 - (DOOR CLOSES) - (WHISPERS) Garth. 304 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:55,080 Garth! 305 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,360 (SNORES GENTLY) 306 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,600 BILL: High on a hill was a lonely goatherd... 307 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,360 (PHONE BUZZES) 308 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:04,240 Loud was the voice of the lonely goatherd 309 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,640 Lay-ee odle-lay-ee odle-oo. 310 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:18,840 (PHONE BUZZES) 311 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:25,440 (STEPH YAWNS) 312 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:26,720 Oh! 313 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:27,800 (DOOR OPENS) 314 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:32,040 (TEARFULLY) Are you feeling any better? 315 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:34,800 Oh, have you been watching that film again? 316 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:36,920 That ending always gets me. 317 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:40,920 Christopher Plummer, crossing into Switzerland. 318 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:43,000 Little Gretl on his back. 319 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,440 STEPH: Let's go for a walk into the village. 320 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:47,120 I'll just grab a cardie from the cupboard. 321 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:50,560 We could pop to the cafe for a cream tea. 322 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:54,760 Oh, unless Lorraine Sykes is hanging around. 323 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:57,800 Three times she's caught me in that place. 324 00:16:57,840 --> 00:16:59,680 BILL: Did she tell you about the dolphins? 325 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:01,000 STEPH: What dolphins? 326 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:04,160 (DOOR OPENS) 327 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,080 Petra, just...! 328 00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:13,200 (DOOR SLAMS) 329 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:14,520 (SIGHS) 330 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:17,840 (SWING MUSIC PLAYS) 331 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:20,160 ROBERT: So, that's the whole one, like that. 332 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,400 Exactly like that. And then... 333 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:30,440 Argh! 334 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:55,320 Hey! Now then. 335 00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:56,760 (PAINT GUN HISSES) 336 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,400 Drum roll please, Fiona. 337 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:22,600 There you go, son. We did it. 338 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:24,880 Oh, it's jolly good. It's, er... 339 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,160 Well... It's completely, um... 340 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:29,760 Oh. 341 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:31,560 Broken. 342 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:32,760 Yeah... 343 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,280 You two carry on and I'll get it sorted. 344 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:38,440 All right, come on then, Little Neil. If you care to do the honours. 345 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:39,520 (CHUCKLES) 346 00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:44,400 ROBERT: There we go. 347 00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:48,560 FIONA: Oh, that looks amazing! (LAUGHS) 348 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,600 And, in the spirit of Van Alen, I've, er... 349 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:54,400 I've incorporated one last surprise. 350 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:56,880 - (SWITCH CLICKS) - (FIONA GASPS) 351 00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:58,840 - ROBERT: Ta-da! - Oh, wow! 352 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:00,400 ROBERT: Look at that. 353 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,920 FIONA: Look at that! Look at all these little cars. 354 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:06,480 Yeah, I just thought I'd, er... Yeah, it's, er... It's... 355 00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:10,400 - FIONA: That is unbelievable. - LITTLE NEIL: When did you do this? 356 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:14,400 Oh, well. I, um... I added that when... when you weren't looking. So, um... 357 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:15,920 Yes, I thought you might enjoy that. 358 00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:19,000 FIONA: Look at all these little cars and trees outside. 359 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:20,480 Oh, Robert, it is beautiful. 360 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,720 Here you go. 361 00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:33,320 I let myself get carried away. 362 00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:36,760 Please tell me you didn't light it up from the inside. 363 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,640 - Oh... - Well, I couldn't help myself. 364 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,800 It's cousin Jeremy's birthday party all over again. 365 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:43,720 That Meccano was just lying there. 366 00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:46,520 You didn't have to build the Hoover Dam! 367 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,520 No-one was watching him blow out his candles. 368 00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:49,960 Even Aunt Izzy was filming you. 369 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:52,960 Oh, any word from Ibiza? 370 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,200 Yeah, they've been up for 72 hours straight. 371 00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:57,680 - Great. - Sasha has had her stomach pumped twice. 372 00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:59,360 How delightful. 373 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:04,240 Well...divorce can be a very sobering experience. 374 00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:05,360 Mm! 375 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:07,080 When did your notes arrive? 376 00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:08,120 Er, this afternoon. 377 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:09,840 Oh, great! So, crisis averted. 378 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,120 - Good old Dolores. - This had nothing to do with Dolores. 379 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,400 Er, excuse me, she gave them to the courier. 380 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:17,120 Without those crib sheets, you'd have been completely stuffed. 381 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:18,200 Maybe. 382 00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:20,120 Er, "maybe" nothing. 383 00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:22,840 She is the hero of the hour, and she went above and beyond. 384 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:25,080 I think the least you could do is show a little gratitude. 385 00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:39,880 What's he going to say to Mr Appleton? 386 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:42,560 "I made that, then had 15 pints, 387 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,680 "got kicked in the head by a horse, put on a blindfold 388 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:47,280 "and then made that?" 389 00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:48,720 Leave him alone. 390 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,040 He did his best. 391 00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:51,920 Oh, yeah, he did his best. 392 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,640 He was at it all afternoon. 393 00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:56,800 He wanted to make sure his was bigger than Robert's. 394 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,960 Yeah, look, his might look good, but mine's built to last. 395 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,480 One puff of wind, that will come down like a pack of cards. 396 00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:05,640 There'd better not be a puff of wind between now and Monday morning. 397 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:07,360 Do you really think I'd be that petty? 398 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,080 You hid Robert's double-sided sticky tape! 399 00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:10,720 It was under the tea towel. 400 00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:12,200 In the bottom drawer! 401 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:15,000 You leave the Chrysler building alone. 402 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:18,640 What's...? 403 00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:21,280 "Neil Hackett, aged 45½"? 404 00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:22,440 Aww... 405 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,280 (MUTTERS) 406 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:40,800 Argh! 407 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:41,840 What's the matter? 408 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:42,880 Biplanes! 409 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:45,880 (GRUNTS) 410 00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:50,920 (WATER RUNS) 411 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:07,160 (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS) 412 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,040 (QUIETLY) Oh... 413 00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,720 (WHISPERS) Garth. Garth! 414 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:38,680 - Christopher Plummer! - What? 415 00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:39,960 Dad? 416 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,320 - Look, you've got to help me. - What? 417 00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:44,080 I need your help! Come on. 418 00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:50,680 You didn't. 419 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,160 It was an accident. 420 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:54,760 A puff of wind? I don't think so. 421 00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,080 A typhoon, maybe. 422 00:22:56,120 --> 00:22:57,600 A hurricane, a tornado. 423 00:22:57,640 --> 00:22:58,800 I slipped on the taxi cab. 424 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:00,360 Is that the best you've got? 425 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:01,560 You've got to believe me! 426 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:03,040 It doesn't matter what I believe. 427 00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:06,360 This is nothing compared to what Mum will do to you. 428 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,000 But she's not going to find out, son. 429 00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:09,320 We can fix it together. 430 00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:10,680 "We"? 431 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:11,880 Well, how hard can it be? 432 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:13,400 Exhibit A! 433 00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:14,560 Oh... 434 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,160 That still looks better! 435 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,800 There's one person who can get you out of this mess. 436 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:20,640 Oh, how can I possibly ask him? 437 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:22,960 You've got no choice. 438 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,400 Sorry, Dad. 439 00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:25,640 I'm going back to bed. 440 00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:36,760 ROBERT: You need to make sure the edges fit snugly. 441 00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:38,280 This can be rather tricky. 442 00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:40,120 Ah, you're telling me. 443 00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:42,000 Rather than use double-sided tape, 444 00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:45,360 I prefer to use pins from the outside wall, 445 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:46,920 to strengthen the joints. 446 00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:50,480 Yeah. Especially when your tape's in my bottom drawer. Ha! 447 00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,000 Like this. 448 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:54,720 - And now onto the window construction. - Whoa, whoa! 449 00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:56,680 Hang on, Steven Seagal. 450 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,520 I binned it, I binned it! 451 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,520 You woke him up in the middle of the night? 452 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:19,800 Robert? As if! 453 00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:21,320 Right, so where did the elves go, then? 454 00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:23,880 Elves? I didn't use elves. 455 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:25,880 I did this. 456 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,600 I mean, it took all night, but, you know, 457 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,800 it's actually quite straightforward once you get the hang of it. 458 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:32,880 I-I don't get it. 459 00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:34,360 I mean, it's as good as new. 460 00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:35,960 It's better. 461 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:40,200 Don't like telling tales, but Robert cut a few corners. 462 00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:43,000 So I made a few improvements. You know, get him out of jail. 463 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:46,480 But you'll never get the credit for it. I mean, no-one will ever know it was you. 464 00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:49,360 I'll know it was me. 465 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:53,680 Every time I walk into the school foyer and see it standing there, glittering. 466 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:55,840 Besides, everybody knows how these things work. 467 00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:58,080 The parents always make them, never the kids. 468 00:24:58,120 --> 00:25:00,080 So I will get the credit. 469 00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:02,200 And I'll get an A-star off Mr Appleton. 470 00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:04,480 Do you think you'll choose it as one of your options? 471 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:06,720 All the other dads are going to be seething. 472 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:10,160 Walking in with their cornflake Colosseums and their Weetabix White Houses. 473 00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:12,720 What, like that one? 474 00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:14,520 - (GARTH SCOFFS) - All right, I admit it. 475 00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,640 I was dreading walking into school and seeing it 476 00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:19,480 and hearing all the other dads sniggering, thinking it was me. 477 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:21,960 - It was you. - No. 478 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:23,600 This is me. 479 00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:25,200 Oh, it's still standing then? 480 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,720 I was half-expecting to find it all over the kitchen floor. 481 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:30,240 It was, but Dad put it back together overnight. 482 00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:32,400 - (LAUGHS) - (KNOCKING) 483 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:33,680 (DOOR OPENS) 484 00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:37,000 LITTLE NEIL: Garth, Petra's here to see you. 485 00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:53,640 (PETRA LAUGHS) 486 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:56,440 Yodelay-ee odle-lay-ee odle-lay-ee-hoo... 487 00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:57,560 (THEY LAUGH) 488 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:02,200 Oh, what a nightmare. 489 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:04,680 Yeah, I know. 490 00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:07,440 Something to tell the grandkids, though. 491 00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:11,480 I-I just wanted to make it up to you. 492 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:15,680 Well, there is something you can do to make it up to me. 493 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:23,920 OK, explain how a population of antibiotic-resistant bacteria 494 00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:26,720 might develop from non-resistant bacteria. 495 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:29,880 OK, so there will be non-resistant bacteria, then there will be anomalies, 496 00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,240 and then they will form antibiotic-resistant bacteria. 497 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:35,240 ROBERT: Sorry I left these behind. I hope they didn't get in your way too much. 498 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:37,520 No, we're so grateful. 499 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:38,920 You did a fantastic job. 500 00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:40,960 Oh, no, not at all. 501 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:42,960 Oh, don't be so humble. 502 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:46,160 I just tried to make something that would look like a kid would hand it in. 503 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:48,760 Yeah, no, absolutely. Well, of course. No, well, you, er... 504 00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:54,400 Yeah, you totally replicated the crude naivety one might come to expect... 505 00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:55,920 um... 506 00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:58,120 ...from an 11-year-old. 507 00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:01,800 See Petra's wearing a ponytail. 508 00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:03,280 FIONA: What's wrong with that? 509 00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:06,240 Nothing. They look fine on schoolgirls. 510 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,400 It's when men start wearing them that the trouble starts. 511 00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:12,280 I mean, what does Zlatan think he looks like, eh? 512 00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:14,520 Looks all right to me. 513 00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:16,440 Where do you stand on them, Robert? 514 00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:20,760 Well, they-they... have rather...slipped out of fashion. 515 00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:22,520 - Slipped out of fashion? - Yeah. 516 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:23,600 They never slipped into fashion. 517 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:25,040 - Well... - I mean, in my opinion, 518 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:27,560 any bloke who ever wore one of them was, is 519 00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:29,080 and, well, will always be a complete and utter... 520 00:27:29,120 --> 00:27:30,960 Anyway, we should... We should probably get on. 521 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:32,280 Come on, Petra. 522 00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:35,680 See you. 523 00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:38,120 What was all that about? 524 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:39,280 Oh, nothing. 525 00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:42,360 Nothing! 526 00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:44,640 I think I'll just take the one model into school. 527 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:46,280 They'll call me a swot if I go in with two. 528 00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,760 It's all right, son. I understand. 529 00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:49,920 Makes complete sense. 530 00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:52,800 I'd do exactly the same thing myself in your shoes. 531 00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:58,080 No, no, I'll take the Empire State. 532 00:27:58,120 --> 00:27:59,400 What? 533 00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:00,440 Why? 534 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:02,000 Because we did it together. 535 00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:04,880 And King Kong didn't hang off the Chrysler building. 536 00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:07,520 But... 537 00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:11,720 Isn't that lovely? 538 00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:14,480 You're going to be in the school foyer after all. 539 00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:22,400 (WHISPERS) Oh, shut up.